Coach Someone to Set a Goal and Choose a Next Step

## Agree on the Kind of Help Wanted and What Stays Out of the Talk Begin by agreeing on what kind of help the person wants. Clarify whether the conversation is for reflection, skill development, decision support, or direct instruction. A coach should normally help the person think rather than take ownership of the decision. Confirm the time available, the topic in scope, and any boundaries on confidentiality or authority. If the issue requires specialist, managerial, legal, or wellbeing support, name that limit and route it appropriately instead of treating coaching as a substitute. Ask: - What would make this conversation useful? - What role would you like me to play? - Is there anything that should remain outside today’s discussion? ## Turn a Vague Wish into a Goal the Person Can Recognize Turn a broad wish into an outcome the person genuinely wants and can recognize. Describe the desired change in observable terms, connect it to a larger purpose, and identify a reasonable time horizon without forcing false precision. Check both value and fit. An attractive goal may still conflict with another responsibility, depend on someone else’s decision, or solve the wrong problem. Separate the result the person can influence from conditions they can only monitor. Ask: - What would be different if this went well? - What evidence would show that progress has occurred? - Why does this matter now? - Which part of the outcome is within your influence? ## Learn What Is Really Happening Before Discussing Solutions Explore what is happening before discussing solutions. Gather specific events, actions, frequency, effects, and relevant feedback. Distinguish observations from interpretations so that a compelling story is not mistaken for a complete diagnosis. Include what has already been tried, what worked even briefly, and what remains unknown. The aim is not exhaustive investigation; it is a sufficiently accurate starting point for a responsible next decision. Ask: - What happened most recently? - What have you observed directly, and what are you inferring? - What have you already attempted, and what followed? - Which missing fact could materially change your view? ## Question Assumptions and Consider How Others See the Situation Help the person notice beliefs that narrow the problem too early. Test assumptions with respectful questions, and consider how customers, colleagues, decision-makers, or other affected people might describe the same situation. Do not use questions to steer toward a hidden answer. Reflect important words, summarize tentatively, and allow silence. If your summary is wrong, invite correction; accurate understanding is more valuable than conversational momentum. Ask: - What are you currently taking for granted? - What might another involved person see differently? - What explanation have you not yet considered? - What would you want to verify before acting? ## List Many Options, Including Small Experiments Generate several possible moves before evaluating them. Include small experiments, requests for help, changes in sequence, actions to stop, and ways to reduce a constraint. The person should contribute first and do most of the thinking. If you have relevant experience, ask permission before offering it. Present suggestions as options rather than instructions, then return ownership by asking the person to assess usefulness, tradeoffs, and fit. Ask: - What else could you try? - What becomes possible if one constraint is reduced? - What is the smallest useful experiment? - What could you stop, delegate, simplify, or postpone? ## Compare Options and Let the Person Make the Choice Evaluate options against criteria that matter for this situation: likely benefit, effort, risk, reversibility, available support, and alignment with the desired outcome. Avoid choosing for the person merely because one route seems obvious to the coach. Ask the person to select a course of action and explain the reasoning. A choice is stronger when it reflects their judgment, capacity, and willingness rather than polite agreement with the coach. Ask: - Which option best balances value and feasibility? - What tradeoff are you willing to accept? - What makes this choice yours? - What would cause you to choose differently? ## Turn the Choice into a Next Step with a Deadline and Plan for Obstacles Translate the selected option into a concrete next action with an owner, timing, and clear completion signal. Then test commitment honestly. A smaller action that will happen is more useful than an ambitious promise made to end the conversation. Anticipate likely obstacles and decide in advance how to respond. Identify resources, permissions, reminders, or people that could help. Confirm what accountability the person wants and what the coach has actually agreed to provide. Ask: - What exactly will you do next, and by when? - How confident are you that you will do it? - What is most likely to interrupt the plan? - What support or contingency would improve the odds? ## Review Results and Decide to Continue, Change, or Stop Set a review point appropriate to the action. At the review, compare the intended outcome with observable results, examine surprises without blame, and decide whether to continue, adapt, or stop the approach. Also review the quality of the coaching conversation. Notice which questions opened useful thinking, where advice arrived too early, and whether the person retained ownership. Use that evidence to improve the next conversation rather than treating the sequence as a rigid script. Ask: - What changed after the action? - What did you learn about the situation and yourself? - What should continue, change, or stop? - What is the next decision or experiment?